Talk Turkey to Me: Turkey Hunting and Dating

Jake is so nice, but I have my heart set on Tom.

by posted on May 26, 2020
Male Turkeys With Female Turkeys

It’s a tale as old as time. Spotting him, making up your mind to go after him, watching him strut towards you in all his magnificent glory. You’re smiling, heart beating wildly, palms sweating, muscles shaking. Your mind is racing, trying to figure out if you have a shot with this one, hoping another girl doesn’t get in your way. Your emotions and nerves are running high all over the place … then the calm when you know it’s you he’s coming to check out. Before you know it—boom!—you’ve connected.

Basically, the only difference between a date and turkey hunting is the scenery. Once you know that, everything you’re doing in the field makes sense.

Basically, the only difference between a date and turkey hunting is the scenery.

Allow me to introduce our cast of characters:

The Gobbler—He’s the hottest guy in the bunch with a perfect beard. He’s big and strong and vocal. He’s impressive, he knows it, and he’s easily distracted by other chicks. Typically lots of gobbling and lacking in the commitment department. (Until he screws up.)

Jake—He’s sweet and wants to compete for your attention, but the timing just isn’t right. He says all the right things, tries to be as impressive as the other guy, and typically wants to commit, but he’s just not “the one.” (Maybe next year.)

Karen and Linda—They’re the chicks you’re competing with. They’ve got confidence, looks and only want to make him happy. These purring ladies are trying to whisper sweet nothings into your guy’s ear. (Not on my watch, ladies.)

You—Working your own magic, waiting for the chance to have a true connection, being still, being patient. The Gobbler might not necessarily know it just yet, but you are the perfect match for him.

Your Tribe—They make sure you’re front and center, in the perfect position to go for it. They talk you up, showing him just how special you really are. They support you every step of the way and get just as excited as you do when everything happens the way you want it to. They also know the importance of snacks so you can always put your best foot forward.

My current season seems to have a lot of gobbles (talking) with zero commitments, but I’m still hopeful I’ll see those sparks (OK, lead pellets) flying. Funny enough, it has also been my experience with the dating scene as well … mainly because I’m more focused on getting out in the woods than swiping right in the app. Alas, life is too short not to at least have some fun with all of it.

Happy hunting, friends. May the best woman win!  

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