Although the number of women who own guns is climbing rapidly, the rate of women who use those guns to hunt is increasing on a much gentler slope. That’s a trend we’re out to change here at NRA Women, for a number of very good reasons. Hunting is humanity’s oldest way of securing fresh, healthful protein for our families, for starters, and it’s still among the best. Then there’s the fact that hunting connects us with our environment and the land that sustains us. Today, however, as turkey season is in full swing everywhere, we’re going to discuss the most important one: Women are just plain better at it. Here’s why.
We Know How to Fool the Sharpest Eyes
The wild turkey has truly amazing vision, capable of picking up tiny movements and miniscule variations in color…quite possibly, color variations that we humans can’t see. That’s why successful turkey hunting is almost always done from concealment in full-body camouflage, complete with face mask or face paint. That said, the terrors of high-definition photography have been plaguing us women (at least, those of us with skin that’s older than about 25) for decades now. Not all women wear makeup, but those of us who do are well-versed in the art and science of using it to hide everything from the gimlet eyes of HD cameras.
We Are Patient
One of the toughest things about turkey hunting is that it requires a great deal of patience and self-restraint. There’s nothing that will test your fight-or-flight endocrine system like having a flock of turkeys hang up just outside of shotgun range (but close enough to see you if you move, of course). Turkey hunting is a battle of wills, not just you versus the turkey, but you versus your body. The skill and fortitude to hold still even as your bladder whines, your throat parches and that one horrid little drop of sweat runs down your nose is quite possibly the most important one to master for all hunters.
So who’s got tremendous reserves of patience? Is it the man who can’t get through a seven-minute segment of television without flipping channels, or the woman who is somehow managing to work from home even as her children tug at her pant legs and chorus “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy”? ‘Nuff said.
We Are Used to the Foolishness
You may have noticed that we’ve listed camouflage and patience as being “among the toughest” parts of turkey hunting. That’s because we saved “the absolute toughest” for last–and that is not cracking up laughing when you see a tom turkey come strutting in at you.
If you’ve never experienced this in person, you’re truly missing out. What happens is that this large, ungainly, but rather ordinary-looking bird suddenly puffs itself out into the absolute epitome of the avian male mating display. When we say “puffs itself,” we mean it—the turkey goes basically spherical. If there’s any grass at all, you won’t be able to see his feet as he comes at you, so what it looks like is a floating, turning, gobbling Hunka Hunka Burning Love levitating in your direction. It’s absolutely hilarious, just gut-punchingly funny (especially if you’re a little punchy and sleep-deprived, and you will be)…but you can’t laugh. You must keep a straight face and your eyes on the prize. Does this remind you of what it was like the last time you went to a bar or singles’ club? Of course it does.
Don’t get us wrong; men can be wonderful turkey hunters, and we appreciate each and every one who goes out there and safely, ethically harvests game. We love having our male friends and loved ones join us on the range and in the field! We just hope they don’t get too upset when we limit out first.