The new school year means changes in schedules, transportation and physical locations. Here are a few strategies to help ensure your children are safe throughout this shift in daily rhythms.
Assess
Find the holes in your child’s day—places where they are in transition from one adult’s care to another's. Determine where they are most at risk and decide what you are willing to do about it. Obvious holes are navigating transportation, unsupervised time where adults are not present (back of the bus, bathrooms, locker rooms, recess and the far reaches of the playground), as well as field trips.
Determine if you, your spouse or a relative can take part in making the school days safer.
Car vs. Bus
It might be easier to have your child ride the bus, but is it necessary? If you want to tighten up the holes in your child’s day, remove them from situations beyond your (and their) control. A bus can be convenient, but it can also be a vector for danger. It’s not impenetrable and bus drivers are not trained to defend your child. The time it takes to drive your child to school is time to spend together, and can help them understand that to care for ourselves, we might have to put in some work.
Some localities offer a tax rebate if your children do not use the bus. So don’t get stuck on it being “paid for.” They’re your tax dollars.
Grandparents might be very willing to drive your child. An older sibling could be tasked with this responsibility, especially because the job can help them understand the duty to care for their family.
Prioritize People
We can make assumptions that our children are safe once they get on the bus or walk into school. We can ask them to text or, “Call me when you get home.” However, children are going to forget. They get excited to open the mail or hang out with a friend. Updating mom and dad can feel too paranoid! This is where families need to impress on each other that they love and care for each other—even down to texting mom, or checking that your sibling is actually home from school, or waiting at the bus stop for them.
Partnering up with neighborhood friends can also grow your circle of support. Offer to other parents on your street to be the adult who goes to the bus stop in the morning, or the one who waits for the kids after school.
Older children might not want mom and dad to watch them get on the bus. Sit in your car and listen to a podcast, or drink your coffee on the porch and let them hang with their friends till the bus arrives. You don’t have to invade your child’s space or sense of independence, or even tell them that watching them is what you’re doing.
Prioritizing people also might mean that you must step up to be present too. Be the chaperone on the school field trip, volunteer at an event your child is attending. Be the person that’s there for the kids.
Take Advantage of Tech
LoJack your kid? Yep. Buy an AirTag or the generic version. Put it inside their backpack or sew a pocket into their uniform or favorite jeans. Do whatever it takes to know where your child is. Your children are literally the most precious thing you have in this world and you can’t replace them. We put AirTags on luggage; surely, your child is more valuable!
Many parents use an app on their child’s phone to track them. Apps can drain a battery fast and kids can leave a phone if they want to hide that they ditched class. Explain to your child that you don’t ever want them to become a victim of trafficking or worse, and you want to know where they are.
For the teenagers, explain that it’s much better than you are constantly asking them to check in. For that, give them space, but ask for three: “Made it to school”; “Made it home”; and if they go anywhere else, to inform you. Have them carry it in their wallet as a means of not losing their valuables. That might shift their perspective.
If you have an alarm system in your home, or a ring camera, set it so you see when your child walks in the door.
It’s OK to have your older child or spouse disagree with you on using tech like this. It’s not about controlling your child, it is about controlling who has access to your child, and that starts with knowing where they are.
Vet Friends
New classes and new grades mean that your child will probably make new friends. Yay! But don’t forget to learn who their friends are and make sure the friends know you. Let them know your family rules, your concern for everyone’s safety, and build connections. Teach your kids that friends can be lifetime assets—so choose good ones.
Have a Plan
Too often in the news we see stories of people harming children at school. This is a very real concern. Without frightening your children, make a plan for what to do in an emergency. NRA School Shield has a guide to talking to your children’s school leaders as well as other helpful resources.
Teach your children to recognize things out of place and to speak up. Teach them to leave a room or situation if anything seems “off.” Teach them to immediately point out strangers, strange behavior or things that don’t seem right to teachers and parents.
Teach them to establish a routine, check in with you and their teachers and friends, and to make sure they are aware of what’s going on around them at all times.
Some parents even opt for things like backpacks reinforced with body armor. We couldn’t imagine marketing a product like that 30 years ago. It will take good people being active and engaged to pull society out of the current culture.
To that end, I would encourage parents to request that their schools have armed resource officers and armed teachers, if they choose to carry. Faster Saves Lives is one outlet training teachers and administrators.
The most certain way to remove your child from danger in school is to homeschool them, which is amazing for so many reasons. It has also become a popular option for eliminating some of the daily societal dangers kids face.
