What We NRA Women Really Want for Valentine’s Day

For an NRA Woman, chocolates and roses are so overdone. Give us what we really need.

by posted on February 10, 2021
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To all of our men, partners or significant others: The outdoor women in your life don’t need a pink teddy bear or over-priced flowers that’ll wilt in a week. What your mom, sister, wife or girlfriend really needs is … a nap. She needs some rest, some peace and quiet and a minute to herself. Warm fingers for once would be good … If you can’t figure out why women are so “complicated,” maybe try starting at the base of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

A Nap 
Naps are an absolute necessity for plenty of women. After all, it’s tiring being such a complex and mysterious creature all day. My favorite naps occur in the late afternoon on Saturdays. Do some reconnaissance to find your valentine’s favorite nap time. Then, surprise her with a hammock (i.e. the ultimate nap location). Your favorite NRA Woman won’t be able to resist stringing up her new nest in the sunniest spot on the nearest tree. If she’s not one to let grass grow under her feet, spring for the coordinating bug net so she can enjoy a luxurious camping trip without “sleeping” on the ground.

Warm Hands
February is still chilly in most parts of the country, and I can confidently say that your valentine hasn’t had warm hands or feet since August. While the pink cashmere set at the department store is just fine, an NRA Woman might prefer these buttery soft shooting gloves from Orvis. These are really two gifts in one, because not only will she relish toasty fingers, but she’ll also love the extra grip and dexterity when shooting at the range.

Peace and Quiet
Ah, the soothing sound of silence. After hearing “Mom” repeated 20x at rapid speed, or “You should smile more!” from male passersby, sometimes it’s nice to hear absolutely nothing. You can give the gift of peace and quiet with custom molded earplugs from Decibullz. These babies are reusable and mold exactly to your ear shape. Your valentine won’t just use them to muffle her gun’s muzzle, but to escape from reality too.

Alone Time 
Can you tell that the special woman in your life is sick of “circling back”? "Correct me if I’m wrong," but constant work e-mails are no doubt driving your valentine a bit mad. If she has to type out “as per my last e-mail” one more time, she’s going to be more than irritated. So send her somewhere with no cell service, and help her escape to the treetops with the Summit Viper SD treestand. No one can ask, “Any updates on this?” when she’s 20 feet in the air.

A Bubble Bath 
A hot, relaxing bubble bath does wonders for your skin, hair and soul. A good book, tranquil music and a sparkling water (or glass of wine) in an ocean of bubbles is exactly what the doctor ordered. So gift the ideal bath to your significant other with Campsuds. This biodegradable soap is perfect for campers and hunters, as it is less harmful to the environment than traditional soap and can be used on anything from dishes to hair. My favorite variety includes citronella, lavender and peppermint essential oils to naturally repel bugs while you shower in the wilderness.

If you need more suggestions, you can always check out the countless "what to buy the lady love of your life" articles out there … but trust us, you can't go wrong with peace, quiet, warm hands and some time away from the electronics.

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