Family members are the first people from whom we learn anything. From how to walk, talk and interact with others to all the basic needs of life, our family is where everything starts—even our very existence. One of the most important family members is the mother. That women bring new life into the world and subsequently protect it is arguably the most valuable role in human civilization—aside from the father’s role in bringing new life into the world and protecting it. Examples of parents caring for their children extend beyond their children to their family unit and the future generations. Doing right by your children is a way of leading by example. Here’s how this applies to women and families and their understanding of firearms.
Divide and Conquer
While parents both have a duty to protect their children, the nurturing typically offered by women often leads many women to look at tools like firearms as something reserved for men. This falls short of giving women the credit they deserve for their abilities and to master use of tools in executing their parental role.
While many women prefer to leave certain tasks and tools to the men in their lives, from running a lawn mower, to vehicle maintenance, to selecting firearms for home defense, it does not imply that women shouldn’t have input in these areas or know how to start the lawnmower or change the oil in the car. The same applies to firearms.
While tasks are often divided between parents, it doesn’t mean women should abdicate knowledge. And sometimes single parents must handle all of the tasks. Consider it like this: Men don’t necessarily want to decide on the best brand of baby diaper and whether the chemicals in them are going to affect their children’s reproductive health. But it doesn’t mean that men can’t understand the importance of such things. And conversely, while women might not feel that they need to get wrapped up in firearms and home defense, it doesn’t mean they should not understand and teach their children about the importance of it.
Do Better
Society at large, but more specifically gun owners, should be doing better to help women and families become as knowledgeable about firearms and home-defense as they are about online safety or swimming lessons. It’s information about tools and skills, and every member of your family should have that knowledge.
It is easy to fall into the trap of convenience, for mothers, daughters, even women who work in the firearm industry. It’s often convenient to hand things off to men. While a necessary division of labor or specific expertise might be called for, it does not preclude women from having the ability to be the one with that expertise. But it is easy to exclude even considering women from the field of “experts” on firearms and their use because of what ideas and beliefs have been passed down to them. Or perhaps better said, what someone failed to pass down to us.
Including women in conversations about firearms and teaching the women in our lives should be a goal and part of the nurturing and protecting roles we all have as human beings. If more women who have experience with firearms share that with others, the less likely it is that guns will be considered taboo or to be whispered about, i.e., “We don’t want the kids to hear it because we don’t want them to get curious about guns.” While we wouldn’t talk to a toddler about how to use a firearm, carrying that mindset past the age or reason puts families at risk.
I have heard too many stories of mothers home alone with their children (from young mothers to women with much more life experience) who had reason to retrieve the family firearm because they heard something or were frightened and then they got stuck. They don’t know how to unload the gun or how to put it on safe. Sometimes they don’t even know how to check that it’s loaded and this is one of the most tragic failures of their family and friends.
While many in the firearm world espouse teaching gun safety and the idea of responsible gun ownership, they might be the same people who won’t openly discuss firearms with their children or their friends because they’re afraid of being judged. There should be no scenario in which talking about using a firearm or owning a firearm or becoming skilled and safe with a firearm is a hidden topic.
If gun safety were taught in schools the way we teach motor vehicle safety, we would have much less fear in society as a whole. People who are afraid of gun violence would have a much different perspective, a different lens through which to view guns. Guns are not bad; they are not moral or immoral. Guns are just a tool. and it’s how they are used—the people behind them that matter. When it comes to keeping families safe, empowering women to defend themselves and their family, we should be as open and honest as possible. Information should be free flowing.
If you have a woman in your life who doesn't have even the most basic knowledge of guns, invite them to something enjoyable. Take them to a women's range day, invite them to the range with you, make a decision to have your kids participate in 4H or your local trap league, perhaps a 22 rimfire event. Or maybe just decide that you’re going to take a class together. Whatever you do, help your family and your children’s future families by having honest conversations about firearms and include the women in your life!
